A Few Common Mistakes To Avoid At Separation

Separation is a stressful and emotional time which can be overwhelming with decisions you may need to make. There are many factors that go into those important, life changing decisions. Understanding common pitfalls early can help to reduce conflict, control costs, and protect your legal rights.

Making decisions based upon emotions

Unfortunately, decisions made based upon emotions like anger, fear, or guilt often lead to long-term regrets. Without proper information it is easy to overlook legal and financial consequences.

Ensure that you consult with a lawyer and discuss your matter and next steps, so you understand the process and the law, and can make informed decisions.

Moving out of the home without legal advice

Individuals often think that moving out of the home means that you abandon your rights to the home. While not always the case, moving out can affect negotiations, parenting schedules, etc. The decision to move out maybe made for good reasons, for example, to minimize conflict with the former spouse and/or to avoid exposing children to that conflict. Speak to a lawyer before moving out to ensure you understand the legal impact of your decision.

Putting children in the middle

While most parents believe they are proceeding in the children's best interests, often parents unintentionally put the children in the middle by sharing adult issues.

• Do not share information about negotiation or the legal case with your children;
• Do not discuss financial issues with your children, including support being or not being paid;
• Do not have children relay messages to the other parent;
• Do not say negative things about the other parent, etc.

It is an unfortunate reality that parents who are embroiled in a high conflict separation or litigation will experience higher legal costs. It is also important to remember that every child benefits from stable, respectful parenting relationships between their parents.

Failing to keep records

Separation is a challenging time, so ensure that you document everything. Depending upon how you are handling the separation, it may be very difficult to recall what happened last week, let alone last month. As time passes, it becomes more difficult to recall specifics such as days the other parent had the children when they missed parenting time or made a support payment. Keep track of the parenting schedule, the dates when it changed, if it changed. Keep records related to support payments made and/or received. While payments made by bank transfer are easy to obtain, a record of ad hoc cash payments can prove to be more difficult to recreate. Try to gather and retain financial records, as they will assist in the settlement of financial issues. Financial records can be very important in showing who paid for which expenses when you resided together, etc.

Without clear records, resolving disagreements later maybe time-consuming and expensive.

Proceeding without full financial disclosure or legal advice

Financial disclosure is the foundation of a good settlement between the former spouses. Financial disclosure is required whether determining child support, spousal support or division of property.

In family law, full financial disclosure is a legal obligation and is necessary as it promotes transparency and fairness and enables informed decision-making, so that one can understand the full financial picture of both spouses. In the absence of full financial disclosure, the Agreement or settlement is at risk later of being revisited and set aside.

You may think that by delaying seeing or retaining a lawyer you will save money. Or you may think that it is not necessary to see a lawyer, as you and your former spouse are amicable and you do not want to compromise that.

Separation is not only an emotional transition – it's a legal one. Make sure you consult with a lawyer who can assist you in understanding your rights, obligations, and available options. Consulting with a lawyer may prevent costly mistakes, assist you in navigating this confusing and stressful time, and provide you with a strategy to move forward.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.