Foley Pride Month: Fireside Chat With Marriage Equality Activist Jim Obergefell

Concluding our celebration of Pride Month, Foley & Lardner invited Jim Obergefell, the named plaintiff in the landmark Obergefell v. Hodges case decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2015, for an engaging fireside chat with LGBTQIA+ Affinity Group vice chair Katie Harrington. A self-described accidental activist, it was an unexpected series of events that led Obergefell and his partner of more than 20 years, John, to their decision to marry and ultimately become part of the legal fight that led to nationwide marriage equality.

Obergefell began the conversation with his story of coming out as a gay man to his family and friends, shared the history of his relationship with John, and described the life of love and community they built together in Cincinnati, Ohio, at a time when the city was not welcoming to the LGBTQIA+ community. “Everyone around us knew that we were a couple,” he said, “but we wanted marriage and everything that marriage signifies.”

That desire grew more urgent after John was diagnosed with ALS. In Ohio, marriage still came with certain rights and privileges upon the death of one of the partners in a couple, and not being legally married would have had serious implications for Obergefell once John passed. So as the barriers to same-sex marriage began to fall in some places, they seized the opportunity and were able to marry in Maryland in 2013. Obergefell described the experience as transformative: “It made us feel more complete,” and “we were finally able to use the word husband in the same way as everyone else.”

The conversation then turned to the legal fight that ensued when Obergefell soon learned that Ohio would not recognize the marriage on John’s death certificate. “Eight days after being married we filed our lawsuit in federal district court,” he said. They successfully argued that Ohio could not treat same-sex couples as “a separate class of citizens.” John died a married man three months after the trial court decision.

Ohio appealed to the Sixth Circuit, and the case ultimately made its way to the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled in favor of marriage equality on June 25, 2015. Harrington highlighted one of the key lines in the decision: “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family.”

“It stuns me that I was part of something so important for our country’s civil rights history,” Obergefell said, reflecting on the scale of the victory, adding that over 600,000 couples have gotten married, and many kids have the names of both of their parents on their birth certificates because of this decision.

Obergefell and Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Debbie Cenziper documented his and John’s story, as well as the stories of others involved in the Obergefell case, in the book Love Wins: The Lovers and Lawyers Who Fought the Landmark Case for Marriage Equality. Their story shows that the Supreme Court decision was about more than just the law and policy. It was about the right to love openly, to be recognized as family, and to give future generations “the opportunity to survive and thrive.”

Obergefell acknowledged that marriage equality cannot be taken for granted, and he continues to fight for equality for all marginalized communities because “when one right is taken away then all other rights are at risk.” He finds inspiration in the ability to keep the memory of John alive and in younger generations who “see all people as human beings and don’t get hung up on their minor differences.”

In closing, he encouraged attendees to “treat every single colleague with respect, be careful with the words you use and don’t be afraid to apologize if you misspeak, and don’t stay silent when someone says something discriminatory.”

This timely program was presented by Foley’s LGBTQIA+ & Allies Affinity Group to help us navigate this more difficult environment and honor the views of those we may disagree with. Follow the link to learn more about Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion at the firm.