- within Family and Matrimonial topic(s)
- in United Kingdom
Custody, care and control, and access are often misunderstood in divorce. In this video, we break down what each term really means, how they affect your role in your child's life, and the options available to create arrangements that prioritise your child's best interests.
Transcript
[Jocelyn Tsao]
How your family moves forward after divorce can be complex,
particularly where children are involved. There can be a lot of
confusion around terminology such as 'custody', 'care
and control', and 'access' that can be quite misleading
sometimes. It's important that you know how these situations
differ in order to understand what's best for you and your
family.
[Joanne Lam]
A common misconception is that custody relates to where your child
lives day to day, when what it is really concerned about is the
right to make important decisions on their behalf. This could be,
for example, your child's education, their religion, their
country of residence and major medical decisions such as whether or
not they will have surgery. Custody can be joint between two
parents or sole to one parent. In the event sole custody is granted
to the other parent, this does not mean that you are shut off from
your child's life –as irrespective of whether you share
custody or there is a sole custodian, you both retain joint
responsibility for your child, and that includes the right to be
heard on all important decisions. Ultimately, the process
recognises that there are two parents who both care for and want
the best for their children.
[Jocelyn Tsao]
Care and control is, in fact, about where the child lives with on a
day-to-day basis. This means making everyday decisions for your
child – anything from diet to their bed time routine or what
activities they participate in.
[Shaun Ho]
And finally, access refers to the ability to see your child, even
if you don't live with them. Access can be specific and
defined, or simply reasonable access without details. When details
are not specified, you work out the arrangements that are best for
you and your children together with your separating partner.
Defined access outlines specific arrangements, for instance, which
day or what times of the week you see your child, or how you split
the holidays. It gives structure around seeing both parents, which
is often in the children's best interests. If you and your
partner agree to both have substantial time with your children, you
can consider shared care instead. This does not necessarily mean an
equal split of time, but rather a more balanced arrangement where
the child spends substantial time with both parents.
[Jocelyn Tsao]
While this can feel overwhelming, we can help explain your options
clearly and guide you throughout the process. You can also enlist
the help of a parental coordinator or mediator to figure out a
parenting plan that works for you and your separating partner. The
end goal will be the decision that's best for you and your
children, so that everyone can move forward with certainty.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
